Storms seem to come in such varying ways and forms. So do the storms of life. I am recently reminded of how we each uniquely handle our storms. I was reminded that in our human flesh it can become so easy to get sucked in to the fury of the storm and be tossed about. At the same time, we have a choice to take a step back and learn more about the elements of the storm so that we can brace it and come through knowing what we learn while holding our heads high.
I so often find it easy to be wrapped with emotions and be caught in the snare of impossibility trying desperately to make it all work out in my power or wishing for things or people to change that I have no power over. The reality of it all, I am contributing to my own storm over something I am powerless to change.
As I begin, to step back and say that no matter what I am grateful and thankful for where I am and for the life that I am living, I truly begin to see the changes happen that I have been waiting to see for so long. I realize miracles only begin to happen as we begin to praise and be grateful where we are at. Small miracle that took 14 years to reveal and truly teach appreciation. It was nothing that I could do on my own. It was only something only God could do, but only after I was ready.
Was he really done teaching me to praise at all times? No! I am so glad that he chose to continue to allow my learning to continue through a phone call that not many ever want to hear. Your loved one was in an accident. First response was relief my husband was okay and to be in shock that it happened.
It did not take long to be reminded with love and prayer to pause to praise. As I began to praise for protection, I was soon caught up with how many things I truly had to praise about. Praising for the here and now, praising for the wisdom and guidance, praising for the love and support of friends and family, praising for the details that God already had worked out that we are waiting to see, praising that my faith will be strengthened, praising for seeing his hand, praising that life is not about feeling stuck on a roller coaster not of our choosing.
I learned to see so much by praising. As I continued to learn to speak that praise and exercise praise I seen so much more I had to be thankful for. I can truly say that praise can bring beautiful learning of storms.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Precious moments
Today as I stood in true worship and reflection of communion, I was interrupted by a little boy who showed me the glimpse of one day becoming a man. I could not help but get tears in my eyes and bask in the pure innocent glory of his words.
For so long I had wondered if the little boy that I started dragging, while almost kicking and screaming, to church had no realization of God or who God is. I had cried and dreaded every time I heard his hurting words of God is not real and how much he did not like him. I could only begin to learn to strengthen my own faith and pray that opportunities would arise to show a little boy how real God was and is. For him if he could not see something or someone, feel it, or hear it then it truly did not exist. However, I knew that I had to remain faithful and allow the time needed for him to discover how real this person named God is that he could not physically see or feel. It really showed me an even greater depth about what it is to have faith in the unseen or even in the unknown. That pure faith of believing what God says and promises he always holds true even when in our own human eyes seems to be nothing but purely impossible.
As I tried to keep focused to hear his every word as well as converse with him, I could not help but begin praising God for an answer to prayer. The words I never want to forget nor the moment of a boy that just turned 9 the day before saying "Mom I just asked God to forgive me of my sins". To hear a child acknowledge and admit his confession of sins to one he has come to realize is so big and so real is worth more than any price tag of gold. Those moments of memories will carry on in my heart and I pray that I continue to daily surrender the needs and realties of raising children who love God to God who is ever faithful to show himself real.
For so long I had wondered if the little boy that I started dragging, while almost kicking and screaming, to church had no realization of God or who God is. I had cried and dreaded every time I heard his hurting words of God is not real and how much he did not like him. I could only begin to learn to strengthen my own faith and pray that opportunities would arise to show a little boy how real God was and is. For him if he could not see something or someone, feel it, or hear it then it truly did not exist. However, I knew that I had to remain faithful and allow the time needed for him to discover how real this person named God is that he could not physically see or feel. It really showed me an even greater depth about what it is to have faith in the unseen or even in the unknown. That pure faith of believing what God says and promises he always holds true even when in our own human eyes seems to be nothing but purely impossible.
As I tried to keep focused to hear his every word as well as converse with him, I could not help but begin praising God for an answer to prayer. The words I never want to forget nor the moment of a boy that just turned 9 the day before saying "Mom I just asked God to forgive me of my sins". To hear a child acknowledge and admit his confession of sins to one he has come to realize is so big and so real is worth more than any price tag of gold. Those moments of memories will carry on in my heart and I pray that I continue to daily surrender the needs and realties of raising children who love God to God who is ever faithful to show himself real.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Fasting--The true Reality
When I first contemplated fasting and the decision and sacrifice I wanted to make according to my terms little did I know that my sacrifice was not about me and my views with God, but what God had to show me about him and his views of me.
I had started a fast with the plan of having and experiencing this marvelous spiritual breakthrough. I am going to map out my outline and plan and this is what I believe and expect will happen as a result. Little did I know that what I thought was to be learned and was different than the lesson plans of God. I learned a deeper appreciation for sacrifice and yet a yearning for something more.
As I sit back and reflect at the lessons learned so far, I can only pause and ask the Lord if my time of fasting is complete as I have learned so much about the concept of it is not about my will or plans but his will and plans. I have come to learn more about what it means to rest and the value and lessons that are learned from resting. I have come to find that in those quiet moments of desperation, my very dependence of my creator and the appreciation and value of each breath I take. I also realized that there are points when our Father who is so loving and gracious brings us to a point in our lives when there is no where else to turn and no where else to go and no other plans to be made, that he has so much to show us and teach us that we may others wise have never had the opportunity to experience or learn. The true essence of the value of perserverence.
Perserverence. The eloquent art of overcoming defeat. The driving force of continually move forward when our human mind would rather tell us differently. The digging deeper of oneself when even when there seems to be nothing left to dig. It is the art of learning to create a new bigger and better picture of oneself or situation when all seemed to be creating a picture of something much less. What a lesson I have only truly begun to learn. The learning driving force or fighting a true battle that is in it to win it.
Then there is rest. The type of rest that is shown so that we can take time to slow down and learn such valuable quality principles that can only be learned when we slow down the chaos and business of our lives and the world in which we live. The learning to hear the voice of the father as well as learning to hear and listen to ourselves. The time to bring to the forefront all that may weigh on our hearts and minds that we carry. The time to bring it to the cross and leave it there. Just as I so often reminded myself of the scripture that says "Come to me all you that are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest." The rest that cannot come nor be found anywhere else.
Sacrifice and addiction. Addictions that can tend to consume so many areas of our lives. Addictions that can rob us of our priorities and focus on God and our relationship with him. Addictions that rob us of our children, our spouses, and those that we may connect with from day to day. Addictions that can be hidden until we seek and pray and ask for a revelation of the addictions. I realize more and more how easy it is to fall into a trap of pure distractions. Distractions that once again rob us of the things and relationships that we should hold so dear. The relationship with our Father, the relationship with our spouse, the relationship with our children, our friends and family and the list could go on. What is it that I am building? A need for my own personal satisfaction of distraction or a need to be part of building and blessing the relationships of that which I can have the privilege of developing and building. Yes, I knew Facebook was a sacrifice of something I so thoroughly enjoyed but little did I realize how much I had to learn from my experience away. I have come to some hard terms of reality when it is time to rejoin my community. A time of necessary clean up that we periodically must do in all facets of life. Whether it be our homes, our minds, our hearts, or our relationships. All is important in the eyes of our father as we continually learn to become the wonderful masterpiece of who he wants us to be.
Lastly, I had tossed around in my mind about my begrugged attitude of misconceived promises of New Year's Resolutions. The I heard the topic about picking on word for yourself for the year that God would give you to work on and teach you. I had toyed and tossed the idea around in my head thinking what is my word. I was so stuck on the phrase of "It is better to have one thing and do a little than to have three things and do nothing." There is so much that can be done when we focus on just one thing. Once again, I realized there were so many areas that I seen God using my sicknesses and health as valuable teaching lessons. That trued point of desperation. However, satan always at work seen it as an opportunity as well. What I learned was that when we continue to seek him he will reveal what he wants to show us and teach us. I soon realized that my point of desperate misery I had become consumed in every facet of where I was and how stuck I was and how miserable I felt and how much I felt like I couldn't do versus what I had and what I could still do. Satan had taken advantage that is for sure, but God taught me so much more. Taught me to recognize, learn to move on, and be grateful for the lesson learned rather than the consumption of self pity.
So my word... Consumed! Learning to recognize what consumes me and pray and ask for guidance, wisdom, and strength to change. Then turn and shift my focus on and towards what I desire to be consumed with. The consuming power or the Holy Spirit. The consuming desire of a deeper relationship of my heavenly Father who I desire to come to know more personally.
I can only continue to seek him first and wait for the continuing leading and directing on the continued steps of my journey ahead.
I had started a fast with the plan of having and experiencing this marvelous spiritual breakthrough. I am going to map out my outline and plan and this is what I believe and expect will happen as a result. Little did I know that what I thought was to be learned and was different than the lesson plans of God. I learned a deeper appreciation for sacrifice and yet a yearning for something more.
As I sit back and reflect at the lessons learned so far, I can only pause and ask the Lord if my time of fasting is complete as I have learned so much about the concept of it is not about my will or plans but his will and plans. I have come to learn more about what it means to rest and the value and lessons that are learned from resting. I have come to find that in those quiet moments of desperation, my very dependence of my creator and the appreciation and value of each breath I take. I also realized that there are points when our Father who is so loving and gracious brings us to a point in our lives when there is no where else to turn and no where else to go and no other plans to be made, that he has so much to show us and teach us that we may others wise have never had the opportunity to experience or learn. The true essence of the value of perserverence.
Perserverence. The eloquent art of overcoming defeat. The driving force of continually move forward when our human mind would rather tell us differently. The digging deeper of oneself when even when there seems to be nothing left to dig. It is the art of learning to create a new bigger and better picture of oneself or situation when all seemed to be creating a picture of something much less. What a lesson I have only truly begun to learn. The learning driving force or fighting a true battle that is in it to win it.
Then there is rest. The type of rest that is shown so that we can take time to slow down and learn such valuable quality principles that can only be learned when we slow down the chaos and business of our lives and the world in which we live. The learning to hear the voice of the father as well as learning to hear and listen to ourselves. The time to bring to the forefront all that may weigh on our hearts and minds that we carry. The time to bring it to the cross and leave it there. Just as I so often reminded myself of the scripture that says "Come to me all you that are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest." The rest that cannot come nor be found anywhere else.
Sacrifice and addiction. Addictions that can tend to consume so many areas of our lives. Addictions that can rob us of our priorities and focus on God and our relationship with him. Addictions that rob us of our children, our spouses, and those that we may connect with from day to day. Addictions that can be hidden until we seek and pray and ask for a revelation of the addictions. I realize more and more how easy it is to fall into a trap of pure distractions. Distractions that once again rob us of the things and relationships that we should hold so dear. The relationship with our Father, the relationship with our spouse, the relationship with our children, our friends and family and the list could go on. What is it that I am building? A need for my own personal satisfaction of distraction or a need to be part of building and blessing the relationships of that which I can have the privilege of developing and building. Yes, I knew Facebook was a sacrifice of something I so thoroughly enjoyed but little did I realize how much I had to learn from my experience away. I have come to some hard terms of reality when it is time to rejoin my community. A time of necessary clean up that we periodically must do in all facets of life. Whether it be our homes, our minds, our hearts, or our relationships. All is important in the eyes of our father as we continually learn to become the wonderful masterpiece of who he wants us to be.
Lastly, I had tossed around in my mind about my begrugged attitude of misconceived promises of New Year's Resolutions. The I heard the topic about picking on word for yourself for the year that God would give you to work on and teach you. I had toyed and tossed the idea around in my head thinking what is my word. I was so stuck on the phrase of "It is better to have one thing and do a little than to have three things and do nothing." There is so much that can be done when we focus on just one thing. Once again, I realized there were so many areas that I seen God using my sicknesses and health as valuable teaching lessons. That trued point of desperation. However, satan always at work seen it as an opportunity as well. What I learned was that when we continue to seek him he will reveal what he wants to show us and teach us. I soon realized that my point of desperate misery I had become consumed in every facet of where I was and how stuck I was and how miserable I felt and how much I felt like I couldn't do versus what I had and what I could still do. Satan had taken advantage that is for sure, but God taught me so much more. Taught me to recognize, learn to move on, and be grateful for the lesson learned rather than the consumption of self pity.
So my word... Consumed! Learning to recognize what consumes me and pray and ask for guidance, wisdom, and strength to change. Then turn and shift my focus on and towards what I desire to be consumed with. The consuming power or the Holy Spirit. The consuming desire of a deeper relationship of my heavenly Father who I desire to come to know more personally.
I can only continue to seek him first and wait for the continuing leading and directing on the continued steps of my journey ahead.
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