Journey to the Mountain

5-5-20

This morning I really wrestled with spending time with God simply because of wrestling with some present circumstances.  I was continually reminded of "Will you trust me?"  Will I trust him with my feelings, fears, and disappointments?  Soon a flash of a historic battle line flashed through my mind.  On one side were those with swords drawn that represented fear and doubt, while on the other were those who had shields drawn that represented the protection from the fear and doubt.  I quickly knew this represented where I felt in the moment.  I had a choice.  Would I choose to face the day unarmed and prepared or would I choose to shelter in the promises of truth and expose my feelings in safety from the enemy?

As I sat worshipping and exposing my feelings before my father, a clearer picture of the journey he was walking me down became exposed.  Walk with me for a moment as we walk but a moment together.

Vast open fields and meadows on both sides of a dusty dirt trail through what seems to be a wilderness of nothing but beauty.  Up ahead in the far distance there was a large snow-capped mountain.  The air was warm with a periodic soft breeze that would blow across the open road and meadow.  Like any dirt road rocks and pebbles of varying sizes could be seen along the way.  As I looked around and started taking in some of the sites, I could begin to see what was being represented.

There are times in our lives we find ourselves feeling alone in the wilderness trying to find our way along a dirt road.  We may not always see that there are footprints from those who have traveled before or even walking not far from us now as the breeze and dry dust keeps the footprints covered over.

Once again, those words "Will you trust me?" echoed through my mind as well as "I want you to notice and appreciate the details without distractions."  It takes effort to choose to walk alone and choose to notice details when you are unsure of what lies ahead.  It takes bravery and courage to walk to the front of the battleline armed with protection from the promises of truth we yet cannot see.

As I continued to walk the dusty dirt path seemingly alone with no footprints, I kept being reminded to look at the details.  The vast wide-open meadows on both sides with vibrant blue skies.  The array of colors in the flowers found among the meadow grasses.  The dirt trail with pebbles and rocks found along its edges.  Larger rocks periodically found more off to the side on the meadow grasses edge.

As I looked to the sky as an eagle picks its head up looking heavenward, I was reminded the importance of the heavens declaring the glory in all circumstances and to pick my head up looking toward my creator when times are rough.  The flowers among the fields reminders of the beautiful blessing of friends who have been planted and placed in our lives at different times along our journey, reminding us of the beauty to bloom brightly where we have been planted.  Though the winds may blow at times continue to grow and bloom being firmly planted in faith.

The rocks may not seem to be much especially when they are dusty and dirty, but if we look at each one they are each different in their own way.  This can be found to be especially true when they are cleaned off.  Their shape and definition of their character came from the many obstacles, beatings, and pressures of life.  The ripened ones were those that had many and deep cracks among them.  As I picked one up in my hand that had a deep crack, it split open in my hand revealing hidden crystalized gems inside.  I was reminded once again, that there are also those who may not appear as a blooming flower on the outside, but if we take a moment to notice the details and brush off the dirt either within our own lives or the lives of others through love and observe the details of their rock that has deep cracks, we might just discover beautiful crystals and gems we were meant to value and appreciate that shows us how truly beautiful life can be in some of the most unexpected places.  Those gems may also represent the different layers of healings and blessings he is placing in our life.

As I took my eyes from the smaller rocks and pebbles to the large stones on the side that was too heavy and cumbersome to lift or carry, but yet perfect to take a brief rest, I thought of the significance of how sometimes we realize we are carrying a burden too heavy to carry.  God is asking us to let it sit and only let it be a place of rest, not a continued weighted burden weighing us down and distracting us from seeing the beauty along the journey.

As I walked this road, I began getting closer to the mountain ahead, I noticed there was no way around.  I stopped pondering the thoughts of what was to lie ahead.  As some fear began to settle back in, I found myself asking why and what.  I decided to move cautiously and slowly make my way, hoping that I would find another path that would take me away from the view of this unclimbable mountain in front of me.  The closer I got the more I could feel the fear and anxiety rising within.  As I approached what seemed to be the only entrance to the cave at the bottom of the mountain, I noticed the cold air coming from within its dark unknown.  A very large rock (more like a boulder) sat outside the entrance and a slightly smaller one beside it.  There at the entrance was a pick leaning against the outside ready for use, a dimly lit lantern, and a small chest with some long straps to carry on my shoulders.

Trying to catch my breath and composure, I found myself staring at this mountain in front of me.  I could no longer see the open meadows and blue skies or feel the warm breeze blowing across the meadows.  "God, why do you have me here?  Must I go in?  It's dark and cold and I am afraid.  Please don't leave me now."  As I paused long enough to try to gain some composure of my feelings, I heard him speak, "Remember I said there would be places on this journey you would need to travel that would be necessary?  Remember my promise, I said?  I will never leave you and WE will walk the journey together.  I will only walk with you as long as you allow and engage in my presence.  There is much to be learned and I have provided what you need, listen for my instructions as WE walk together."

I sat there on the outside a little longer trying to digest and find the courage to enter.  The tools sitting there and their purpose.  The cave would go deep, but I was not meant to stay and hide in the cave.  I would need to be willing to unload and expose my transparency in the light I was given in the dark places.  I would need the light to help me find my way and shine truth and beauty in the dark cold unknown.  I would need the pick to pick and chisel away at the barriers of my heart and life that prohibit me from reaching the beauty of the other side.  To pick at the lies, deception, and fears that hold me back from the potential of what God has in store for me and my life.  I need the small chest for the rare gems that of truth, beauty only found in the difficult places, to be kept and remembered.  The real beauty will be seen greater when I reach the other side when the details of what has been walked through are more greatly revealed.  Observation of the details to be appreciated and valued at the greatness that was done in the dark cold places.

While I was only taken to the mountain and a peek inside of what was to come, I realize it is again of the reminder to trust him in all things and he will be with me in all things, if only I allow.