2021 Reflections On Content

 As I sit reflecting on this past year along with the word I had for the year, I have to admit I am certainly glad to see the year behind me.  The past year was very difficult for many reasons, and I now understand why God gave me the word "content" for 2021.  It was a word I struggled to receive as my word for the year.

I knew when I received the word content it was not meant to be content in a material sort of way, but it would be much deeper; although I can see how that area would be put to the test as well.  Content would be presented in the aspect of God asking me to be put to the test that I would be "content" that He is enough in all things.

Looking back there were probably many times I failed in being content to even trust let alone have faith that He was enough.  Contentment came to teach in accepting at a deeper level of Pappa, protector, provider, husband, friend, mother, guide, healer.  I had to be content to be put on the shelf which for the longest time only revealed to myself more layers of my heart that required the shelf in order to search and deal with things more deeply.  Being content to be placed in a position of silence in writing, serving, ministering while God took me through heart rehab.  I am not completely where I need to be as I recognize contentment will be an ongoing lesson.

I had to become content to work through grief over my dog as well as relationships and marriage.  I had to learn contentment in a failed marriage.  I had to let go of my plan and location for moving and be content with where He is sending me.   I had to be content to let go of "better" to trust his 'best."  Content to allow His plan for my current and future financial means to be stepping stones of provision that may have been different than the plan of provision I wanted.  Content to become broken and shattered so that the exposure could allow the transparency for more freedom and healing.  Content to show my ugly and broken so that Pappa could show and display His beauty.  Content to walk through Covid with his hand and hedge of protection so that I could face things in the demonic realm so that I could learn a greater level of authority and complete reliance on Him.  Content for my next breath to be that of the Holy Spirits.  Content to have no physical strength of my own but to be fully reliant on His strength.  Content to be put in a position where my faith would be increased.  Content to learn and understand forgiveness in ways I had yet to understand.  Content that part of forgiveness would be releasing blessings even when the pain and hurt were still there because it would be a healing oil for my soul.

Contentment came with new promises and opportunities for the future.  Contentment came with a new word for 2022.  That word is Jubilee.  I look forward to walking into his promises and opportunities for the future as he leads me from one season and brings me into a new Jubilee season of New Beginnings.