5-28-20

This verse has been coming to me quite a bit lately, This morning I jotted down some thoughts and challenge I thought I would share with you all here.

Philippians 4:19 says, "And the same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from His glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus."

Just like He took care of those before us He promises to take care of us now (if we are in Him). He knows and understands our needs even before we do or better than we understand ourselves. No matter what comes he promises to supply and meet them. It may not be our wants, but it will always be our needs. All he simply asks is "Will I trust Him". So I encourage you to be encouraged knowing God has promised to supply your needs whether they be physical, emotional, financial, spiritual, relational, etc. according to his will and purpose for our lives. The challenge lies in will you trust in his unseen promise for what you may not yet see.

Finding Trust in a Dark Mountain Cave

5-23-20

This morning I had several things going through my mind when the words of an old hymn I remember from my childhood would not leave my mind.  "Jesus, Jesus, how I trust him!  How I have proved him o'er and o'er."  These words stopped me in my thoughts as I sat and pondered some new questions to previous thoughts in my mind.

In recent writing, God had shown me he was leading me to the mountain that I would not have to climb but find my way through the areas of my heart.  I looked in the cave of the mountain and approached with fear.  Fear of the dark areas of my life.  Fear of what I would have to face that would be exposed in his light.  Fear of the unknown.  Fear of how long it would take me to reach the other side.  Fear that had and at times had no reason, but just could be consuming and paralyzing at times.

The other day, I reached that paralyzing moment when all I could manage to do was listen to praise and worship music as a way to sit with him.  He used music that day to show me some key things in my life.  It was not about the ritual I use to connect or spend time with him.  It wasn't about how faithful I was with reading the Bible or reading my devotionals. It was that I simply allowed him myself to just sit with him and allow him to use what he needed to release peace in the dark area of the cave that left me paralyzed with fear I could not explain.  In my mind, I kept thinking from a works-based mentality of needing to do everything right, feel alright, have no fear, etc. to be accepted or not rejected by him.  I had simply allowed fear to instill an old legalistic way of training and thinking.  So here I sat (with no other choice) allowing what he wanted to use to reach an area of my heart he wanted me to face.  TRUST!

Trust the word that has repeated itself so much especially the past three days over and over.  Do I trust him with my fears and uncertainty?  Do I trust that his plan is greater than mine, or what I can imagine?  Do I trust that he can continue healing those wounded areas of my heart?  Do I trust that he can restore all things?  Do I trust that he claims me as his own, and I will one day be in his home free of fear and perfection of wanting to please him (that causes me to stumble)?  Do I trust that he will guide me to his plans?  Do I trust he will provide for my needs when it seems impossible?  Do I simply trust in who he says He is and nothing else should matter?

Where am I putting my trust?  Is my trust put in distractions?  Is it put in fear?  Is it put in the lies from Satan telling me I am not enough?  Is my trust in fighting for my own needs in my own strength?  Where am I putting my trust?

I think we could all be real and admit there is some area of our life we have to face in the dark cave of our heart he is wanting to shine his light on and ask us to trust there is beauty to be found in this hard stone of the cave wall he wants us to remove, that he will reveal it's contents of a rare gem when we come out on the other side.  Trust that at times seems like nothing but dark black coal, but when broken apart from the master a priceless diamond of his provision in any area of our lives to be found.  Do I trust him as the hymn says o'er and o'er?  Where do I put my trust?

Journey to the Mountain

5-5-20

This morning I really wrestled with spending time with God simply because of wrestling with some present circumstances.  I was continually reminded of "Will you trust me?"  Will I trust him with my feelings, fears, and disappointments?  Soon a flash of a historic battle line flashed through my mind.  On one side were those with swords drawn that represented fear and doubt, while on the other were those who had shields drawn that represented the protection from the fear and doubt.  I quickly knew this represented where I felt in the moment.  I had a choice.  Would I choose to face the day unarmed and prepared or would I choose to shelter in the promises of truth and expose my feelings in safety from the enemy?

As I sat worshipping and exposing my feelings before my father, a clearer picture of the journey he was walking me down became exposed.  Walk with me for a moment as we walk but a moment together.

Vast open fields and meadows on both sides of a dusty dirt trail through what seems to be a wilderness of nothing but beauty.  Up ahead in the far distance there was a large snow-capped mountain.  The air was warm with a periodic soft breeze that would blow across the open road and meadow.  Like any dirt road rocks and pebbles of varying sizes could be seen along the way.  As I looked around and started taking in some of the sites, I could begin to see what was being represented.

There are times in our lives we find ourselves feeling alone in the wilderness trying to find our way along a dirt road.  We may not always see that there are footprints from those who have traveled before or even walking not far from us now as the breeze and dry dust keeps the footprints covered over.

Once again, those words "Will you trust me?" echoed through my mind as well as "I want you to notice and appreciate the details without distractions."  It takes effort to choose to walk alone and choose to notice details when you are unsure of what lies ahead.  It takes bravery and courage to walk to the front of the battleline armed with protection from the promises of truth we yet cannot see.

As I continued to walk the dusty dirt path seemingly alone with no footprints, I kept being reminded to look at the details.  The vast wide-open meadows on both sides with vibrant blue skies.  The array of colors in the flowers found among the meadow grasses.  The dirt trail with pebbles and rocks found along its edges.  Larger rocks periodically found more off to the side on the meadow grasses edge.

As I looked to the sky as an eagle picks its head up looking heavenward, I was reminded the importance of the heavens declaring the glory in all circumstances and to pick my head up looking toward my creator when times are rough.  The flowers among the fields reminders of the beautiful blessing of friends who have been planted and placed in our lives at different times along our journey, reminding us of the beauty to bloom brightly where we have been planted.  Though the winds may blow at times continue to grow and bloom being firmly planted in faith.

The rocks may not seem to be much especially when they are dusty and dirty, but if we look at each one they are each different in their own way.  This can be found to be especially true when they are cleaned off.  Their shape and definition of their character came from the many obstacles, beatings, and pressures of life.  The ripened ones were those that had many and deep cracks among them.  As I picked one up in my hand that had a deep crack, it split open in my hand revealing hidden crystalized gems inside.  I was reminded once again, that there are also those who may not appear as a blooming flower on the outside, but if we take a moment to notice the details and brush off the dirt either within our own lives or the lives of others through love and observe the details of their rock that has deep cracks, we might just discover beautiful crystals and gems we were meant to value and appreciate that shows us how truly beautiful life can be in some of the most unexpected places.  Those gems may also represent the different layers of healings and blessings he is placing in our life.

As I took my eyes from the smaller rocks and pebbles to the large stones on the side that was too heavy and cumbersome to lift or carry, but yet perfect to take a brief rest, I thought of the significance of how sometimes we realize we are carrying a burden too heavy to carry.  God is asking us to let it sit and only let it be a place of rest, not a continued weighted burden weighing us down and distracting us from seeing the beauty along the journey.

As I walked this road, I began getting closer to the mountain ahead, I noticed there was no way around.  I stopped pondering the thoughts of what was to lie ahead.  As some fear began to settle back in, I found myself asking why and what.  I decided to move cautiously and slowly make my way, hoping that I would find another path that would take me away from the view of this unclimbable mountain in front of me.  The closer I got the more I could feel the fear and anxiety rising within.  As I approached what seemed to be the only entrance to the cave at the bottom of the mountain, I noticed the cold air coming from within its dark unknown.  A very large rock (more like a boulder) sat outside the entrance and a slightly smaller one beside it.  There at the entrance was a pick leaning against the outside ready for use, a dimly lit lantern, and a small chest with some long straps to carry on my shoulders.

Trying to catch my breath and composure, I found myself staring at this mountain in front of me.  I could no longer see the open meadows and blue skies or feel the warm breeze blowing across the meadows.  "God, why do you have me here?  Must I go in?  It's dark and cold and I am afraid.  Please don't leave me now."  As I paused long enough to try to gain some composure of my feelings, I heard him speak, "Remember I said there would be places on this journey you would need to travel that would be necessary?  Remember my promise, I said?  I will never leave you and WE will walk the journey together.  I will only walk with you as long as you allow and engage in my presence.  There is much to be learned and I have provided what you need, listen for my instructions as WE walk together."

I sat there on the outside a little longer trying to digest and find the courage to enter.  The tools sitting there and their purpose.  The cave would go deep, but I was not meant to stay and hide in the cave.  I would need to be willing to unload and expose my transparency in the light I was given in the dark places.  I would need the light to help me find my way and shine truth and beauty in the dark cold unknown.  I would need the pick to pick and chisel away at the barriers of my heart and life that prohibit me from reaching the beauty of the other side.  To pick at the lies, deception, and fears that hold me back from the potential of what God has in store for me and my life.  I need the small chest for the rare gems that of truth, beauty only found in the difficult places, to be kept and remembered.  The real beauty will be seen greater when I reach the other side when the details of what has been walked through are more greatly revealed.  Observation of the details to be appreciated and valued at the greatness that was done in the dark cold places.

While I was only taken to the mountain and a peek inside of what was to come, I realize it is again of the reminder to trust him in all things and he will be with me in all things, if only I allow.

Picked for a Purpose

4-30-20

Last night I read a devotional that struck a spot in my heart.  It seems I have been a tightly wound ball of emotions lately and he had something to show me.

It came from Sarah Young Jesus Calling.  It said, Remember that my delight in you based on My finished work on the cross, so don't fall into the trap of trying to earn My love.  Instead, live as the one you truly are--My beloved--and let your gratitude keep you close to Me, eager to follow wherever I lead.  I delight you!

The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save.  He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17

The Lord make His face to shine upon and enlighten you and be gracious (kind, merciful, and giving favor) to you; the Lord lift up His [approving] countenance upon you and give you peace (tranquility of heart and life continually). Numbers 6:25-26 Amp

As I read this, it spoke to me in this way.  "Remember I delight in YOU!!  Don't let your emotions I designed and created you, don't fall into a trap of control to earn my love.  There is no shame and nothing to earn, because I already took care of it all for you.  No payment or action is needed.  Take the freedom to live just as you are; as I designed and created you.  Find gratitude in those moments to remind you to keep close to me.  It is my love that leads you, because I DELIGHT in YOU!!"

As I woke this morning still pondering those thoughts, I woke to actually a couple verses on my mind.

Psalm 139:13  "For you formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb."

Jeremiah 1:5  "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you"

Luke 12:7  "But the very hairs of your head are all numbered?  Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows."

My mind wandered and pondered the intricate anatomical details of God's specific plan in choosing to delight in each one of us.  In the human eye of man it can said to be traced to our grandmother from my understanding.  When conception occurs and a female is developed from the right chromosomes she is estimated to have about 7 million eggs at 20 weeks in utero.  That number drops to about 2 million at birth, then 3-500,000 at puberty.  Only one egg will be released at a time.  That one egg that God had my name and your name wrote on for his plan.

Take this concept for a moment that if that one egg was in the mothers womb while she was still within her mother's womb.  That one egg out of millions of eggs.  God chose you and me, because he delighted in us and has a plan for us.  He knew such intricate and hand picked details before we were thought and planned for in the human flesh.  He already picked and counted even the number of hairs on our head and said "I delight in You!"  I value you more than many sparrows that I created.  You are part of me and my plan, because I chose you to be my child.  Acceptance, open arms and door into my family.  I delight in you!  I delight in your emotions, for it is how I created you.  It is how I created you to feel and connect deeply.  It is part of my plan.

How many times do we want to lay out our plan, our day, our details, and strive to find pleasure and delight in something so perfectly orchestrated?  How many times does it usually work that way?  Do we still find delight and pleasure?  How many times do we experience intense or even surface emotions?  Do we take delight in those emotions we were created to feel and process?  Do we pause and ask God to help us find beauty in what we feel, and see what he sees not what we feel?  He delights in all those intricate details and knew it before anyone we would ever encounter in our life would know it including our mother.  To think we are handpicked, preserved, and chosen for a plan and purpose, because he delights in us.  What LOVE!!  Don't be ashamed of bad days, and strong emotions, but express them with a father who delights in who he created and chose.

Planted Tree

4-11-19

God has a way of gently getting our attention.  Yesterday, "I" had plans and a schedule "I" wanted to follow.  It didn't go that way as I found myself confined to bed with a migraine.  I had moments of sharing my frustrations and disappointments with God about a day wasted.  Jump ahead to today, "I" once again had an agenda, but decided in my mind I would be more intentional in my devotional time with him.  "I" still had an agenda of what I wanted to see for the day.  I would start off with something only to be stopped for it to be dealt with another day.  Move onto the next thing on my list.  Once again, I was stopped again only for it to be dealt with another day.  My attitude had been becoming like that of shifting sand and beginning to feel unsteady.  Despite all that though, God would still reveal his love and pursuit of me through His provision and gently speaking to me through non-else but trees.  It's always so interesting to me how he will use the things that interest us or that we connect deeply to as tools to teach us something.  Today my agenda was put aside so he could have me study the significance of trees in correlation to life.

It all started with Ps 1:3 and Jer 17:8 where both verses similarly talk about being like a tree by streams or riverbanks (pending your version).  Let's walk through this together as we look at the importance of being planted by the water.

Trees planted by the water provide shade, help to cool the air and stream water both.  Purifies the air above the ground and the soil beneath.  It firmly and deeply roots helping to reduce the threats of flooding and erosion as it binds and stabilizes the soil beneath it.  Trees also help to break up wind forces.  Their need for water is displayed in their leaves and fruits.  The more saturated the roots the more water is pushed up through the trunk of the tree to the leaves and fruits it bears.  Without an abundance of water in the soil, the leaves would wilt and possibly die.  There has to be such an abundance that it has no choice but to flow outward to its leaves.

As I looked out the window in observation, as the trees still appear barren, I could not help but be reminded of the importance of being firmly rooted and the need for seeking the life-sustaining water that will soon force its budding leaves to burst forth with growth.  In Ps 1 it says "They are like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season.  Their leaves never wither, and they prosper in all they do."  In Jer 17:8 it says, They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water.  Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought.  Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit."

I just pondered on these verses and listened as I began asking myself some questions and thoughts.  Being planted in rich fertile soil (the word of God) and by streams of water (the living water of the word) allows us to take root and grow deeper.  The deeper in his word we go, the deeper our roots become planted in him.  As growth develops and continues the soil in which I am planted will change and become more fertile which is necessary for feeding my roots and purify the ground, the air, and the water around me.  My growth as a tree planted by the water is necessary for shade from the hot trials of life when he invites us to come and rest under the shade and protection of his presence.  He reminds us to stay closely planted by his cooling refreshing waters of his Spirit speaking to us through his living word.  It is only there that we can drink and become saturated with his water that we take in enough water to reach the leaves and fruit ready to burst forth of the goodness and redemptive power of him in our lives for others to see and taste of his goodness.

So as I chose to only focus on primarily these two verses, I am left asking myself some hard questions and thoughts to ponder.

1. Am I being planted by the stream of living water?
2. Am I allowing myself to be firmly rooted in his word and presence?
3. Am I drinking in enough of Him that my leaves and fruit produce the results of the living water of His work in my life?
4. Am I allowing the purification to take place, by my firm planting and constant need of him in my life that I emit the purity of his love and grace?
5. Am I firmly planted that when the scorching heat, or the strong winds of life blow that my leaves don't wither or my roots shift and give way to circumstances and satan's lies?

I leave these thoughts and the lessons through God's creation for us to ponder and ask if we are being firmly planted and rooted even when life is uncertain.

Blindfolded in War

3-25-20

As I was sitting here this morning preparing to spend quiet time with Jesus I got this vision of some of what I see going on concerning the Coronavirus.

Everyone was gathered and drawn together (by way of media in real life).  Satan garbed in a bright red robe was the leader.  He began to present his crafty plan with the words he would say.  He had their attention and addiction to the bottle of fear he passed around for all to drink; for now, he could gain more control.  He convinced them to put blindfolds and then going out blindly to fight the war on Corona.  As everyone was running around with blindfolds, the fear increased from the lies only the blindfold (television/ media) would let them see.  As they entered into the war, called fear, other forces would join the war such as selfishness, hate, greed, etc. to devour them in their weakness.

Every so often, you would have a gallant knight come riding through the war zone.  His lead (God) would tell him where and when to stop.   He would make himself known and by his words and touch would begin removing the blindfold of fear and offering hope and light in a dark blindfolded world consumed by fear.

As blindfolds were being removed, the increase and awakening to the truth of God would increase like in a ripple or domino effect to a battered, blinded, and wounded world.  This only occurred by those who were truly willing to step up to the front of God's army to bring hope, truth, light, and life to the dying lost world.

Dove facts to learn from

I recently wrote about the eyes of a dove in comparison to the eyes of a fly.  As I am continuing a journey through the book Song of Songs my curiosity for doves has only increased as I wanted to look more closely at how their characteristics and features can show me something in comparison to my own life.  I have decided to try and take a bunch of different interesting facts I gathered and put all here into writing in one place.

Besides the previous study of a dove having eyes that are designed to only focus on one thing at a time, there were some other interesting things concerning their eyes.  The reason they are designed to only focus one thing at a time (which is the thing in front of them) is that they have no peripheral vision.  However, in this unique quality, they also have a binocular vision they use synchronously to produce a single image completely undistracted by anything else around them.  Some have said there are gentleness and peace that can be found in the eyes of a dove.

I think one of the things I found so interesting about this binocular vision is that it is mostly used to focus on their mate, who they choose for life.  Their eyes are so fixed on what they see in their mate that nothing and no one else around them matters.  They belong solely to each other.  I thought about this as I began to wonder what it would be like to become so intently focused on the I am too love that I am undistracted by the things around me.  To have such devotion, peace, grace, and gentleness that only my eyes would reveal that type of character of heart.

When using it apart from their mate, it is said they can see stars in the daytime as well as recognize landmarks, street signs, etc. that helps them navigate to where they are headed even at a great distance.  I found this interesting in the fact that they are so intuned to details and always have assurance in where they need to turn and go knowing how to always find their way back home.  While they may be a bird with intense focus, they are also very alert to the things around them.
Am I intuned and in love with God, that I know where he is leading and his landmarks are for the direction I am to take in the journey and path he has for my life?

Doves actually produce their own milk for their newborns.  They're very mothering and nurturing, displaying much care and devotion to each other as well as their young.  A symbol of peace, purity, love, and devotion.  This made me realize the love and nurturing our heavenly father has for us.  He provides the milk in the beginning and as we grow, increases within us through the meat and seed he is planting and growing in our lives. 

Two more interesting facts are doves are able to adapt to almost any kind of environment and the male is usually the one that does the cooing as he is calling for his mate.  She is all that matters to him and he desires to be with her.  Am I able and willing to adapt to any condition that my heavenly father provides knowing his provision is never-ending if I continue to trust in his provision?  Do I listen for the soft gentle cooing and calling of my father, who has such a deep passionate love for me as his child?

I came to realize through my love of nature, there are never-ending lessons for us to learn through his creation and examples in his word.